Jesus said “The Burden I give you is light...” but what did He know about Pinalito?

What a month. I don’t know where to start. I’ve tried to write this blog four times in effort to keep up with the news and my own emotional reactions. We've had an amazing missionary team sweep in from Pennsylvania, the much anticipated visit of Michael and Rocky Beene (the directors of our small mountain ministry "Faith in Action") and a whirlwind of doctors visits, community birthday parties, coffee roasting, and mission wide brainstorming!

Four-year-old Gilmer Estaurato Perez has been foremost in my thoughts lately.
He lives up the hill from the mission with his 25 year-old mother and father, and his three oh so dirty and parasitic siblings. Two years ago, a Faith in Action intern took Jilmer in for 6 weeks. She fattened him up on chicken, pizza and vitamins, loved him, sang to him, and dressed him in Baby Gap and Gymboree. When Jilmer reached a healthy weight again, the intern returned him to his parents with toys and a baby bath and an almost comical preference for American food. But upon his return to poverty, Jilmer went downhill again. He refuses his mother’s tortillas and beans, preferring to sit dejected in his own pee all day. Jilmer is now four, and he weighs 15.8 pounds. His legs are deformed; his eyes are nearly blind, and his hair is so thin that he is balding above his ears. He cannot walk and hardly talks, and has been screaming in my arms for the past two days.

In the U.S., picky eaters can be frustrating; maybe Mom has to scrape the ketchup and pickles off of a McDonalds hamburger and cook a separate pot of rice for dinner. But in Guatemala, a picky eater will die. Melanie jokes that Jilmer is meant for pate and champagne, but as we struggle to find out what food this child will eat, we have both stopped laughing.

Jilmer’s mom doesn’t know what to do with her underdeveloped son. She cannot buy him chicken every day, and so, she expects he will die. Once again, Faith in Action has swept in to save Jilmer’s life. We love this cuddly child who lies exhausted on the nearest shoulder, perking up at the smell of food or the chug of a motorcycle. Jaime and Cindy Ortiz will take care of him while Melanie and I go home for the holidays. But what will happen to Jilmer when he is better again? Who will buy him his daily chicken?

At the same time, Melanie and I have started feeding 60 year old Sofia Lopez, the “crazy lady” of Pinalito, so say the children. At the worried reprisal of Michael Beene, we recently discovered that Sofia is dying of hunger… her family is not feeding her the corn and beans that we give her each month. So Sofia comes to the apartment for lunch every day, and we cook her chicken soup with hot vitamin drink, peanut butter and jelly, and a baggie of rice to take home. I clip her nails, and Melanie gives spoonfuls of anemia medicine as Sofia rambles on, slightly senile, and tries to be a “lady” at our table. (I have only had to reprimand her once, when she spit her congestion out on the kitchen floor!)

All of this has collided with Thanksgiving and the beginning of the holiday season… I find myself ready to go home, uncomfortable with the cold Guatemala weather, and wishing for a television to watch the Macy’s parade or the holiday movie marathons. Despite my willingness to love on the people of Pinalito, I confess to such selfishness these days… I didn’t want to share the sweet potato casserole from our Thanksgiving feast, though I cringe at the grandiosity of our table. I am reading about Paul this week, both in Acts and in John Pollock’s book, The Apostle , and I am amazed at all that he suffered to spread the Good News. I, on the other hand, am unable to feed the masses. In my frustration, I grumble “If I had 10,000 warm jackets, would the people then come to me for gloves and scarves? If I had 10, 000 chickens, would they then expect beef?”
These days, as I crave home, and wonder at the hopelessness of the lives of Pinalito, my burden seems unbearable… how can I possibly care for them all?

Does this seem like a repetitive question? Perhaps… I have written similar frustrations throughout my fall here in Pinalito. But tomorrow, my Dad is arriving in Guatemala to visit. Although I know that I am to be the tour guide as I bring a non Spanish speaker into new terrain, I am so relieved in his presence. To rely on the guidance of a parent is so easy; I can’t wait for him to see Pinalito, for he will have such great advice—encouragement for my worries. His arrival is a reminder, in fact, that I can look to my Heavenly Father for the same relief, the same trust that everything will work out. I just have to stick to my guns…

Jesus said “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30) Whew, this verse is so hard to take in, most of the time.... but when it clicks, it clicks.